Category: Uncategorized

“Now Arriving in the Inbox of Europe”Block Time: 0.5 hours, 7 tax filings, 3 sarcastic radio calls, 1 unwanted GDP recalculationCargo Manifest: Diplomatic Purpose:To deliver symbolic economic solidarity cargo and see how long the crew can go without accidentally laundering something. Crew Notes Passenger Vibe Check Flight Highlights Mission Summary Debrief Camila’s footage of the…

“Liberté, Égalité, In-flight Cabaret”Block Time: 0.7 hours, 2 fashion critiques from ATC, 1 emergency cheese confiscationCargo Manifest: Diplomatic Purpose:Deliver symbolic “shared culture” cargo to France and deeply test their patience by arriving in a cargo jet with no sense of irony. Crew Notes Passenger Vibe Check Flight Highlights Mission Summary Debrief Camila’s footage of the…

“Waffles, Warnings, and Weaponized Bureaucracy”Block Time: 0.9 hours, 5 airspace handoffs, and 1 waffle-related hostage situation (nonviolent)Cargo Manifest: Diplomatic Purpose:To deliver symbolic unity cargo and check “EU headquarters” off the list before someone realizes the crew has no accreditation. Also: test the patience of Belgian air traffic control, an institution known for its thinly veiled…

“Canals, Clogs, and Catastrophic Customs Forms”Block Time: 1.0 hour, 4 near-collisions with reality, and 1 unnecessarily passionate tulip debateCargo Manifest: Diplomatic Purpose:Deliver clean energy symbolism and “culturally neutral gift cargo” (read: cheese). Unofficially testing how much absurdity the Dutch will tolerate before shrugging and biking away. Crew Notes Passenger Vibe Check Flight Highlights Mission Summary…

“A Brief Visit to Her Majesty’s Paperwork”Block Time: 1.1 hours, 3 accent misfires, 9 passive-aggressive sighs from Ground ControlCargo Manifest: Diplomatic Purpose:Official: Cultural goodwill delivery & refueling.Actual: See how long they can be on UK soil before Eleanor accidentally triggers an international incident by using the phrase “crisps are just sad chips.” Crew Notes Passenger…

“Shamrock Shenanigans & Cargo Confusion”Block Time: 2.4 hours, 1 unplanned limerick contest, 0 actual luck involvedCargo Manifest: Diplomatic Purpose:Cultural outreach mission to “enhance transatlantic ties.” Translated loosely: “Drop off boxes, don’t offend anyone, survive Eleanor’s jig recital.” Crew Notes Passenger Vibe Check Flight Highlights Mission Summary Debrief Camila’s footage of the landing includes an audio…

“Operation: Please Don’t Freeze the Chicken”Block Time: 5.8 hours, 1 heated argument about Björk, 3 crew naps in violation of protocolCargo Manifest: Diplomatic Purpose:To provide “symbolic energy cooperation” with Iceland, even though no one in Reykjavík actually asked for it. Also, unofficial goal: reset the crew’s body clocks using daylight that never ends. Crew Notes…

“Snowflake Diplomacy Tour, Act I”Block Time: 1.4 hours, 2 maple syrup-related misunderstandings, 1 brief threat of deportationCargo Manifest: Diplomatic Purpose:To deliver symbolic technology aid and open the flight series with a low-risk, high-politeness border crossing. The mission brief said, “ease in with Canada before it all goes sideways.” It already has. Crew Notes Passenger Vibe…

The Maiden Voyage of Mild Concern Date: Day 0, Mission Commencement + Mild RegretBlock Time: 5 hours, 2 turbulence-induced hair flips, 1 ethics violation narrowly avoidedCargo Manifest: Diplomatic Purpose:Official delivery of newly-built aircraft to Joint Base Andrews.Unofficial: The U.S. government’s way of saying, “We don’t know what to do with them, but maybe you can.”…