Mission Overview

Operation Excess Baggage: A Mission of Dubious Importance

✦ Aircraft

Type: Boeing 777-F
Callsign: Carbon Footprint
Fuel Consumption: Yes
Top Speed: Classified (mostly because Eleanor keeps pressing buttons)
Range: Far enough to be legally troubling

✦ The Mission

Objective:
Visit every single country on Earth—intentionally, questionably, or accidentally—while transporting 223,752 pounds of ambiguous “cargo” and spreading chaos, culture, and possibly poultry to all corners of the globe.

Duration: Indefinite. Eternal. Until the FAA intervenes or the coffee runs out.
Total Legs: ~190
Mission Motto: “Diplomacy. Delivery. Dramatic Descent.”

✦ The Crew

👩‍✈️ Captain Adelyn “Checklist” Wren
Oldest sibling. Diagnosed with ADHD and anxiety. Fueled by espresso and FAA compliance.
Believes in SOPs, laminated checklists, and emotionally suppressing anything that doesn’t fit into a flowchart. The only thing she fears is Eleanor with a PA mic.

💃 First Officer Eleanor “The Vibe” Wren
Middle sibling. Fluent in four dance styles, two musical genres, and exactly zero radio protocols.
Believes every takeoff is a performance piece and every descent a spiritual reawakening. Once tried to yodel into the HF radio. It worked.

📱 Flight Engineer Noah “The iPad Kid” Wren
Youngest sibling. Master of tablets, memes, and attracting inexplicable admiration from strangers.
Every girl he meets swoons. He remains unaware. Fluent in Discord diplomacy and international snack curation.

✦ Passenger Manifest

Dr. Lena Moretti: WHO logistics expert, passionate about vaccines and sugar-free granola
Raj Patel: Tech bro. Invents a new DAO every takeoff. Currently pitching “CargoCoin.”
Colonel James Hawke (Ret.): Former NATO liaison. Salutes everything. Including forks.
Yuki Tanaka: Art curator. Leaves unauthorized installations at every airport. Frequently detained, never convicted.
Camila Santos: Documentary filmmaker. Everything is a whispery monologue. Probably filming you right now.

✦ Notable Cargo

Ventilators, art, mystery crates, existential baggage
A suspicious number of USB drives labeled “For Geneva Only”
A live chicken named Wattles McFreedom wearing mission-specific costumes
Roughly 40% of Raj’s career prospects, packed in dry ice

✦ Mission Goals

Visit every sovereign nation without being banned, arrested, or mistaken for a Eurovision act.
Deliver “symbolic cargo” that may or may not make diplomatic sense.
Document the journey with increasingly unhinged flight logs, artistic installations, and chicken-led diplomacy.
Test the limits of crew cohesion, international law, and Adelyn’s emotional bandwidth.

✦ Threat Level Indicator

Color	Meaning
Green	No interpretive dance in cockpit today
Yellow	Eleanor brought her ukulele
Orange	Noah started a crypto exchange from the FMC
Red	Wattles is in the flight deck
Plaid	Adelyn has filed for sibling emancipation mid-flight

✦ Known Hazards

Excessive vibe radiation
Spontaneous sculpture
Diplomatic incidents involving cheese
Inflatable autopilot named “François” (don’t ask)

Status:
Not started
Survivability Forecast: Unclear.
Landing Gear Integrity: Emotionally fragile, mechanically sound.