“Fortified Cargo, Fragile Tempers, and Feathered Diplomacy”
Block Time: 1.5 hours, one unnecessary spiral over Gozo, and 47 minutes of intense shouting about cannons
Cargo Manifest:
- 47 crates of intergovernmental goodwill disguised as vitamin supplements
- A bronze statue labeled “A Modest Symbol of Cooperation, Definitely Not A Bribe”
- Six oversized novelty keys for “symbolic unlocking of future partnerships”
- Wattles McFreedom in ceremonial chainmail (replica), clucking “non nobis domine” to himself
Diplomatic Purpose:
To deliver aid, reinforce post-conflict partnerships, and offer Malta a commemorative statue that may or may not resemble Eleanor mid-flamenco. Camila insists the resemblance is “coincidental and powerful.”
Crew Notes
- Adelyn:
Declared Malta “topographically smug” on descent. Used a manual landing to avoid terrain-triggered autopilot sass. Rolled the wheels down like a statement. Pointed at a coastal battery during taxi-in and muttered, “Bet I could land a C-5 there too.” - Eleanor:
Demanded a guided tour of the Grandmaster’s Palace within 30 minutes of landing. Announced her candidacy for “Unofficial Cultural Attache to Dramatic Stone Buildings.” Gave a spontaneous Shakespeare monologue on the apron. The ground crew clapped nervously. - Noah:
Hacked into the Malta airport’s tourist recommendation engine and improved it. Now suggests historical sights based on users’ Spotify playlists. Claims it’s “emotionally intuitive travel.” Accidentally redirected all cruise ship passengers to a medieval torture museum.
Passenger Vibe Check
- Dr. Moretti:
Took one look at a Maltese cliff and said, “Yes. This is a wellness precipice.” Then hosted a pop-up meditation session inside an 800-year-old fortress. - Raj:
Proposed CastleCoin, a system for buying fortresses one stone at a time. Claimed it was a “heritage-preserving fractional asset token.” Maltese authorities immediately passed a law against it. - Colonel Hawke:
Gave a two-hour tactical review of every fortified wall in Valletta. Declared the city “defensively aroused.” Tried to dig a trench. Was handed a croissant instead. - Yuki:
Built a sand-and-stone sculpture titled “Erosion of Memory, Fortified by Hope.” It was later run over by a Segway tour. Yuki called that “part of the piece.” - Camila:
Narrated the entire descent as: “Stone sighs and cannonball dreams—Malta receives the sky’s emissaries with the weariness of legacy.” Customs asked if she was okay.
Flight Highlights
- Eleanor insisted on playing the Game of Thrones soundtrack during final approach. Adelyn muted it with extreme prejudice.
- Noah’s tourist algorithm now refers to Wattles as “local living heritage.”
- Adelyn briefly considered requesting military clearance just to prove she could.
Mission Summary
- Success Metrics:
- Smooth landing into LMML
- Statue unveiled, causing only minor controversy
- All novelty keys handed out to varying levels of enthusiasm
- Diplomatic Outcome:
- Malta accepted cargo and statue, unsure if it was art or insult
- Eleanor given 24-hour “expression permit” to recite verse in public
- Wattles knighted. Informally. By someone in a tavern. Possibly a tourist.
- Crew Rating:
- Adelyn: 8/10 – had flashbacks to a Wargames conference in 2012
- Eleanor: 20/10 – now insists her DNA contains limestone
- Noah: 11/10 – declared honorary algorithmic citizen of Mdina
Debrief
Raj’s CastleCoin is being investigated by the Maltese National Heritage Bureau and two pigeons. Yuki’s shattered sculpture was turned into a coffee table. Camila’s voiceover is now played in the Malta arrivals hall. Dr. Moretti has renamed her mobile clinic “Fortress of Feelings.” Wattles keeps yelling “DEUS VULT” and no one knows what to do about it.
Next Stop: LIRF – Rome, Italy
Objective: Touch down in the heart of empire, dodge historical metaphors, and prevent Eleanor from challenging the Pope to a dance-off.
Shall we ascend toward Roman airspace and majestic architectural drama?
Around the World in MSFS 
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