✈️ Flight Log: Leg 12 – LFMN (Nice Côte d’Azur, France) ➡️ LFBO (Toulouse, France)

“Operation Tax-Free Altitude”
+ Land Invasion of: Andorra (via suspicious rental van)

Block Time: 1.1 hours by air, 3.5 hours of uphill driving, and 2 hours of Eleanor yelling “IS THIS ANDORRA YET?”
Cargo Manifest:

• 300 collapsible skis branded “UN Peace Patrol: Alpine Division”
• 2 crates of diplomatic trail mix (70% raisins)
• One collapsible lectern labeled “For Pop-Up Summit Use Only”
• Wattles McFreedom in a sherpa vest, sipping Evian with lemon

Diplomatic Purpose:
Touch down in Airbus territory under cover of “mutual aeronautical respect,” then flee inland to the tiny mountain nation of Andorra to deliver tax-neutral humanitarian aid and collect a stamp that will confuse every immigration official forever.

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Crew Notes

• Adelyn:
  Landed in Toulouse with the grace of a vengeful Boeing. Refused to disembark until the tower acknowledged the superiority of the 777F with a formal nod. Ranted about composite materials for half the drive to Andorra. Called it “a sovereign act of thrust vector defiance.”
• Eleanor:
  Performed “Pyrenees: A Movement in Altitude” on the Andorran border using yoga mats and heavy breathing. Yelled “Bonjour!” at goats. Has declared herself “Minister of Snow Vibes.”
• Noah:
  Confused Andorra with Pandora. Arrived disappointed there were no blue aliens, but stayed for the duty-free cologne. Now friends with a ski patrol dog and the mayor’s cousin.

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Passenger Vibe Check

• Dr. Moretti:
  Claimed the Andorran air cured her lower back pain and her mistrust of carbs. Attempted to declare the entire valley a WHO-certified “wellness pocket.”
• Raj:
  Tried to launch “SkiFi” – a blockchain system for ski-lift passes. Accidentally disrupted the municipal Wi-Fi. Rewarded with a key to the city and a $12 fine.
• Colonel Hawke:
  Tried to establish a NATO forward observation post in a yurt. Was politely asked to leave by a shepherd and three llamas. Saluted the llamas.
• Yuki:
  Assembled a snow sculpture called “Altitude Anxiety.” It melted and then won a local art prize for “Emotional Drippage.”
• Camila:
  Narrated the drive through the mountains as “The Road to Relevance: A Journey Through Fiscal Ascent.” Soundtrack: flutes and disapproval.

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Flight Highlights

• Eleanor requested a flyby of the Airbus factory. Adelyn refused. Eleanor drew it on the moving map with a lipstick anyway.
• Noah offered to code the autopilot to “wiggle” as a sign of friendly superiority. Adelyn threatened exile.
• Wattles McFreedom took a selfie with the Airbus Beluga and posted it to an encrypted poultry forum.

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Mission Summary

• Success Metrics:
  • Toulouse landing: firm but smug.
  • Andorra visit: achieved via a highly suspicious Sprinter van and one detour through a goat trail.
  • Trail mix delivered, raisins regretted.
• Diplomatic Outcome:
  • Airbus silently acknowledged the 777’s presence by locking their doors.
  • Andorra welcomed the team, briefly mistook Raj for a fintech delegation, and gifted Eleanor a mug that says “No Airport, No Problem.”
• Crew Rating:
  • Adelyn: 6/10 – bitter, correct, emotionally descending at 500 fpm
  • Eleanor: 15/10 – thinks Andorra is her spiritual chalet now
  • Noah: 9/10 – snowboarding with five new friends and Wattles

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Debrief

Camila’s footage of Andorra is just clouds and wind with a voiceover about “altitude and absolution.” Yuki’s sculpture now serves as an unofficial memorial to the time Raj tried to mine crypto with a snowblower. Wattles McFreedom laid an egg in a fondue pot. It sold for €800. Adelyn is refusing to log the leg unless someone formally acknowledges she didn’t hit a single Airbus-branded taxiway.

Next Stop: LEMD – Madrid, Spain
Objective: Deliver high-speed rail blueprints, eat tapas unprofessionally, and survive Eleanor’s upcoming performance piece: “Madrid Descending.”

Ready to push Mach .84 into Iberian airspace?