“Diplomacy with a Side of Champagne Regret”
+ Tactical Motorcade Transfer to: Monaco
Block Time: 1.3 hours of flight, 47 minutes of customs confusion, 3 near-crashes with Lamborghinis
Cargo Manifest:
- 200 inflatable flamingos branded “UN Global Coastal Peace Partners”
- An “emergency” supply of SPF 1000 sunscreen
- A life-size cardboard cutout of Roger Federer with a sign that reads “Neutrality is Sexy”
- Wattles McFreedom wearing a diamond-encrusted monocle and a sash reading “Cluck de Monaco”
Diplomatic Purpose:
To represent multinational cooperation, suntan awareness, and poultry-based cultural exchange at the Microstate Global Summit: Yachts, Taxes, & Climate Theatre in Monaco.
Crew Notes
- Adelyn:
Upon learning the approach to Nice involved mountainous terrain, coastal winds, and vibes, she conducted a private, multi-hour ceremony of checklist reinforcement. Whispered, “I didn’t survive Geneva just to die in glitter.” Flew the RNAV approach with enough precision to recalibrate the ILS system mid-flight. - Eleanor:
Wore sequins to the pre-flight briefing and introduced herself to ATC as “Madame Altitude.” Tried to wave out the cockpit window during final. Later insisted Nice’s runway should be “emotional, not physical.” ATC requested her silence via emoji. - Noah:
Programmed the descent profile using hotel Wi-Fi and a concierge named Jacques. Joined a Monaco influencer yacht meetup via Discord before even touching French soil. Received a gift bag with cologne and mild financial advice.
Passenger Vibe Check
- Dr. Moretti:
Attempted to reclassify sunscreen as “medical-grade diplomatic ointment.” Got into a philosophical debate with a dermatologist in the Monte Carlo lobby. No clear winner. - Raj:
Tried to pitch “MonacoCoin,” a cryptocurrency pegged to the square footage of yachts. Was last seen discussing blockchain with a man named “Jean-Pierre, Duke of Crypto.” - Colonel Hawke:
Declared the principality a “naval threat” upon seeing a particularly aggressive jet ski. Refused to deplane without full ceremonial armor. Wore a bathrobe instead. - Yuki:
Created a sculpture titled “Excess in a Minor Key” using seaweed, caviar tins, and luxury hotel towels. It now lives in the Monaco art district and is insured for more than the aircraft. - Camila:
Filmed a mini-documentary titled “Baguette Diplomacy: Soft Power in a Hard Shell” while riding in the back of a Bentley. No one knows where she got the Bentley.
Flight Highlights
- Eleanor played La Vie en Rose through the PA on short final. ATC responded by vectoring them over the ocean. Twice.
- Noah offered the controller tickets to “his yacht’s rooftop comedy night.” Adelyn growled audibly.
- Wattles McFreedom escaped onto the tarmac wearing a tiara. Airport security mistook him for a VIP.
Mission Summary
- Success Metrics:
- Smooth landing. Minor emotional turbulence.
- Cargo delivered. Flamingos distributed to various diplomatic pools.
- Wattles declared “spirit animal of the summit” by a Belgian ambassador’s niece.
- Diplomatic Outcome:
- Monaco officials offered the crew honorary yacht parking privileges for one afternoon.
- Eleanor banned from two casinos for excessive interpretive gesturing.
- Raj gained five offshore bank contacts and an unconfirmed title of nobility.
- Crew Rating:
- Adelyn: 5/10 – exhausted from flying with literal fireworks in the airspace
- Eleanor: 17/10 – launched a Monaco fashion line mid-layover called “FL360”
- Noah: 9/10 – now featured in a tourism brochure next to the phrase “refreshingly confusing”
Debrief
Camila’s footage was requested by the UN, rejected, then purchased by Netflix as a “tone poem about fiscal transparency.” Eleanor is choreographing an airport musical titled “Customs Declaration: The Ballet.” Wattles is back on the aircraft, inexplicably holding a small martini glass. Adelyn is staring into a bottle of Evian, whispering checklist acronyms like prayers.
Next Stop: LFBO – Toulouse, France
Objective: Pay homage to Airbus (begrudgingly), drop off high-value engineering schematics, and prevent Eleanor from seductively whispering “fly-by-wire” to a tour guide.
Shall we trespass into enemy aerospace turf?
Around the World in MSFS 
Leave a comment