✈️ Flight Log: Leg 8 – EBBR (Brussels, Belgium) ➡️ LFPB (Paris–Le Bourget, France)

“Liberté, Égalité, In-flight Cabaret”
Block Time: 0.7 hours, 2 fashion critiques from ATC, 1 emergency cheese confiscation
Cargo Manifest:

• 300 silk berets labeled “Freedom Hats (Rebranded)”
• 2 crates of American cheese marked “Cultural Exchange – Processed”
• A suspiciously heavy crate labeled “Haute Couture for Poultry”
• Wattles McFreedom, now wearing a striped shirt and a tiny red scarf, baguette tucked under one wing

Diplomatic Purpose:
Deliver symbolic “shared culture” cargo to France and deeply test their patience by arriving in a cargo jet with no sense of irony.

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Crew Notes

• Adelyn:
  Studied Le Bourget’s approach plates like they were ancient scripture. Announced over the intercom, “Do not say the word ‘croissant’ unless it is aerodynamically relevant.” Was visibly sweating by TOD (Top of Descent), muttering something about Charles de Gaulle personally judging her bank angle.
• Eleanor:
  Arrived in a homemade Eiffel Tower costume constructed from meal trays, seatbelt extenders, and glitter glue. Tried to get ATIS to call her Mademoiselle Mach Number. Filed a noise complaint when denied.
• Noah:
  Brought a paperback copy of Les Misérables for “vibes,” but only read the part where Gavroche is sassy. Accidentally joined a Parisian book club over Wi-Fi. Now scheduled to appear in a rooftop salon.

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Passenger Vibe Check

• Dr. Moretti:
  Attempted to get vaccinated by a traveling mime as a statement. It was not medically sound, but it was emotionally resonant.
• Raj:
  Launched “FromageFi” — a decentralized cheese authentication protocol. Was escorted from the cargo ramp after trying to trade brie for Ethereum.
• Colonel Hawke:
  Wore a Napoleon hat, gave a rousing speech to a crate of baguettes, and saluted a traffic cone. Customs waved him through immediately.
• Yuki:
  Installed a live art installation titled “Bureaucracy in Repose” across three airport benches. It has already been nominated for a grant.
• Camila:
  Narrated descent with, “And as the plane dipped over the Seine, history recoiled and asked, ‘What fresh American nonsense is this?’”

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Flight Highlights

• Eleanor tried to rename FL300 “La Altitude Magnifique.” Adelyn threatened to deploy the RAT manually.
• Noah tried to order macarons mid-cruise using a cabin Wi-Fi portal and somehow initiated a diplomatic courier clearance request.
• Wattles McFreedom pooped on a commemorative bust of Charles Lindbergh. Yuki called it “postmodern symbolism.”

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Mission Summary

• Success Metrics:
  • Landed safely at Le Bourget with only minor runway disdain from a Dassault Falcon pilot.
  • Cargo released to the French Ministry of Not Looking Impressed.
  • Wattles briefly detained for “cultural impersonation.”
• Diplomatic Outcome:
  • France accepted the crew’s presence with classic Gallic ambivalence.
  • Eleanor is now banned from using the word “soirée” for 30 days.
  • Adelyn may have been canonized by an exhausted air traffic controller.
• Crew Rating:
  • Adelyn: 4/10 – barely holding together under the weight of baguette-based turbulence
  • Eleanor: 16/10 – announced her one-woman Paris Fringe Festival residency mid-landing
  • Noah: 9/10 – now referred to as “Monsieur Pixel” by a French philosophy professor

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Debrief

Camila’s footage of the landing features a sepia filter, an accordion track, and no actual footage of the aircraft. Raj left behind a blockchain-powered fondue kit. Eleanor is wearing a beret she insists was “emotionally gifted” to her by the sky. Adelyn may or may not have locked herself in the crew rest with a bottle of Bordeaux and a single raisin. Wattles McFreedom is now fluent in honking with a French accent.

Next Stop: ELLX – Luxembourg
Objective: Navigate a nation the size of a large IKEA, file 87 tax forms to offload one crate, and prevent Eleanor from calling it “Europe’s adorable spreadsheet.”

Shall we breach the borders of Luxembourg with art, poultry, and fiscal confusion?