✈️ Flight Log: Leg 2 – KADW (Washington, DC) ➡️ CYOW (Ottawa, Canada)

“Snowflake Diplomacy Tour, Act I”
Block Time: 1.4 hours, 2 maple syrup-related misunderstandings, 1 brief threat of deportation
Cargo Manifest:

• 4 pallets of decommissioned fax machines labeled “Cybersecurity Equipment”
• 37 crates of expired Girl Scout Cookies (unrequested, unwanted, unstoppable)
• 1 maple tree sapling with diplomatic immunity
• A suspiciously warm crate marked “Frozen Goods – Do Not Open” (it growled)

Diplomatic Purpose:
To deliver symbolic technology aid and open the flight series with a low-risk, high-politeness border crossing. The mission brief said, “ease in with Canada before it all goes sideways.” It already has.

---

Crew Notes

• Adelyn:
  Cross-checked the flight plan six times and asked Eleanor not to speak to ATC “unless she’s literally on fire.” Adelyn’s voice reached a new octave when Eleanor began her pre-descent interpretive dance in the galley. Filed a formal HR complaint with herself.
• Eleanor:
  Performed an off-brand rendition of O Canada while holding two galley spoons as microphones. Claims she was “feeling spiritually bilingual.” Accidentally broadcast her warm-up scales on 121.5 MHz. NORAD waved.
• Noah:
  Downloaded Duolingo French, completed three lessons, and now ends every sentence with “le bro.” Befriended the CBSA officer within 4 seconds of landing. Eleanor accused him of “weaponizing dimples.”

---

Passenger Vibe Check

• Dr. Moretti:
  Attempted to administer vitamin B12 shots to the ground crew. Was politely told to “maybe just enjoy the airport.”
• Raj:
  Tried to pitch a blockchain poutine app to a customs official. His name is now on a very small, very polite watchlist.
• Colonel Hawke:
  Referred to the short flight as “tactical repositioning.” Refused to deplane without a ceremonial saber salute. No one had one. He improvised with a spatula.
• Yuki:
  Left a miniature sculpture titled “International Misunderstanding” in the terminal. It’s now part of a traveling exhibit.
• Camila:
  Narrated the descent with the line, “And so, through the frostbitten veil, diplomacy descended like an uninvited snow angel.” No one stopped her.

---

Flight Highlights

• Eleanor announced descent by singing “Let It Go.”
• Adelyn attempted to cancel her family via satellite link mid-flight.
• Noah looked out the window, saw geese, and asked if they were “feral Canadian swans.”
• Eleanor gave Ottawa Tower a pilot weather report that included the phrase “lightly dramatic cumulus.”

---

Mission Summary

• Success Metrics:
  • Landed without frostbite.
  • No one detained (just softly warned).
  • Cargo delivered (somehow signed off as “community enrichment devices”).
• Diplomatic Outcome:
  • Canada welcomed them warmly, but also subtly requested they never return “in this exact configuration.”
• Crew Rating:
  • Adelyn: 7/10 – visibly grinding molars, still mostly composed
  • Eleanor: 12/10 – choreographing Les Jetables: A Canadian Musical
  • Noah: 6/10 – already has two pen pals and a signed Mountie calendar

---

Debrief

Camila recorded a timelapse of snow melting on the windscreen, called it Diplomatic Thaw. Raj bartered a crate of cookies for a bag of ketchup chips and insists it was “a win for the people.” Eleanor asked the tower controller out on behalf of Noah. He’s unaware. Adelyn now flinches at the word “bilingual.”

Next Stop: BIKF – Keflavík, Iceland
Objective: Cross the Atlantic, avoid a diplomatic incident involving geothermal energy, and get Eleanor to stop calling it “Elf Land.”

Shall we take it to Iceland?