The Maiden Voyage of Mild Concern
Date: Day 0, Mission Commencement + Mild Regret
Block Time: 5 hours, 2 turbulence-induced hair flips, 1 ethics violation narrowly avoided
Cargo Manifest:
- 223,752 lbs of vaguely labeled “mission-critical supplies”
- One gilded bronze bust of Elon Musk (unstable base)
- 600 pounds of dried trail mix (raisins only)
- 1 chicken (status: unclaimed, possibly symbolic)
Diplomatic Purpose:
Official delivery of newly-built aircraft to Joint Base Andrews.
Unofficial: The U.S. government’s way of saying, “We don’t know what to do with them, but maybe you can.”
Crew Notes
- Adelyn:
With the solemnity of a surgeon and the checklist density of a DoD audit, Adelyn powered through the Boeing handoff like she was prepping for the Second Coming of Charles Lindbergh. Wore noise-canceling headphones before startup to pre-mute Eleanor’s humming. Eyelid twitch: mild. Coffee count: 3.5. - Eleanor:
Moonwalked through the delivery hangar. Said it was “symbolic.” Said everything was symbolic. Sang Defying Gravity during pushback, forgot to unkey the mic. Ground crew applauded. Adelyn did not. - Noah:
Used his iPad to livestream the rollout with 28 viewers and 1 grandma in the comments yelling “fly safe sweetie.” Referred to the 777’s APU as “chonky.” Already “friends” with three different Boeing tour guides—two cried at departure.
Passenger Vibe Check
- Dr. Moretti:
Meditated through takeoff. Claimed she could sense the CO2 balance shifting mid-climb. Is already petitioning to ban in-flight snack mixes with more than 3 ingredients. - Raj:
Pitched a startup called “Airbnb for cargo holds” before takeoff. Was gently sedated by Yuki with a weighted scarf. - Colonel Hawke:
Gave a rousing 12-minute speech to the flight deck before departure about “duty, freedom, and the value of punctuality.” Nobody asked. - Yuki:
Has already rearranged the galley to better suit “feng shui for flight.” Adelyn is unsure whether to appreciate it or file a complaint. - Camila:
Filmed a “behind-the-scenes” docuseries intro in 4K. Narrated it in her best Ken Burns voice. Made Noah hold the boom mic, which she later edited out because “his energy was too positive.”
Flight Highlights
- Takeoff was smooth despite Eleanor’s interpretive safety demo (with jazz hands).
- Adelyn ran a full systems diagnostic mid-cruise “for fun.”
- Noah tried to download Minecraft: FAA Edition and somehow rerouted the cabin Wi-Fi to a Canadian logging camp.
- Eleanor renamed the autopilot “Chauncey.” He is now a cast member in her one-woman show.
Mission Summary
- Success Metrics:
- Aircraft delivered.
- No injuries, minor spiritual damage.
- Chicken still unaccounted for.
- Diplomatic Outcome:
- Base Commander greeted the crew with a handshake and the thousand-yard stare of a man who knew this day would come.
- Cleared for further travel “with extreme caution.”
- Crew Rating:
- Adelyn: 8/10 – Professional under duress, radiating mild panic beneath excellent posture
- Eleanor: 10/10 – Filming a midair musical titled Flaps & Feelings
- Noah: 6/10 – iPad at 9%, but surrounded by inexplicable female fan club energy
Debrief
Noah is trending in a Discord server he’s never heard of. Eleanor has begun composing a one-act opera about jet fuel. Camila cried when the windshield wipers moved “so gracefully.” Adelyn has already begun planning an alternate career in solo Antarctic research.
Next Stop: CYOW – Ottawa, Canada
Objective: Convince customs they’re “just visiting,” deliver mystery crates, and attempt to pass off Eleanor as a cultural ambassador.
Ready for launch?
Around the World in MSFS 
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